Mentally disorder...stay back again...

I’m wondered on what’s going to happen to my future..is it going to be a happy ending like in any love movies or just remains the same as what am I having at the moments. Only god knows..

Looking backward on the cultural and human behavior of people around me, turn me to be someone who afraid to trust anybody. Some of my so called friends mentioned that I’ve change. For me, they have change, not like when I know them before I came to Dubai….

It’s quite hurt when people that we know and we love treat us like we never know before. For some reason, maybe they don’t want to show to their new friends that we are close together. Being someone who has a split personality might give various perceptions from peoples. But do I need to bother them just to make other people happy? The answer is no…I’m not going to be a hypocrite just like everybody here…2 faces…pretending that they are happy even though deep in their heart full of sorrow and emptiness.

Here am I still sitting in front of my computer in the office, preparing for tomorrow presentation to clients, and some more the usual event for the week, Design Review in front of the Directors and Principle. Just like standing in front of them, presenting the progress of the project and wait to be shoot. Huh…. positively it encourages being defensive to justify our own design.

It is 3.30 am in the morning, like yesterday; I went back home around 10 am in the morning, miss my driving class and woke up around 4.00 pm in the evening. Get a few calls and messages from the office but I just ignored and switch on my DVD….watch Around the world in 80 days…eat a cup of Curry Maggi (bought from Malaysia) and playing with my kitten, Bidi and Combi…

As usual I went to DIVA to wash and blow my hair and after that, I went to the fish shop to buy turtles for Umi which her previous one dead….



While working and singing, I feel like missing people that I love so much, it’s like killing me every moment as I just keep it away from my mind and its hunting me like no sympathize. I do hope that god would give me what I wish…but I don’t know when it’s going to be…