Ignored me.....

I’m tired when I gave instructions and nobody listens to it. Now my blood is going upstairs and I’m going to issue strong emails to my draughtsman’s in Singapore. It’s very difficult to communicate when we are working in different region….huh..

I’m still working alone and the clock is about 3.45 am in the morning. Just because I don’t receive any update drawings, and now I have to do it by myself. Again, the design changes internally and now I’m becoming designers cum CAD person….how pathetic.

Feeling alone again…all the memories of my loves stories imagination strike. It’s very hard when I fall in love with a wrong person. Sometimes I’m thinking that person maybe just take me for granted. As the one that they used when they have nobody. And I’m letting myself being used because of shortage of people that I like. Obviously now, I like people who obviously meant not to be mine.

Just because I like him…all the harsh words and other things that make me hurt had been ignored. I’m blind. A lot of peoples giving advised but it’s never giving any effect at all. I just ignored the advised. Sometimes before…I keep calling him…everyday every time…until I can’t control myself. It’s like I cannot live if I didn’t hear his voice once a day…

Until when I want to hurt myself, only god knows, I tried to find cures, but it would direct me to the dead end. All my life here are meaningless. Yes, I’m almost have everything but materials can’t be compared with love…love are keeping me alive and I want to get love…even though now I’m living in the imaginations, pretend that I have someone that I love and he love me…..I’m happy with it..

I’m very regret with one of the guy here, I know him before I came here. I respect him before for giving his attention to me and he’s quite calm and kind. But now, he’s totally changes. I’m almost hate him for making me more stress at the time I need his help..maybe he have his own justification but making me hurt is unforgiven for me.

Life is short and almost half of it is meaningless to me…can I get what I want in my life??? The question should have the answer…I’m still searching…