Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Hurt and gain the pain..

Today was a stressful day for me, I woke up early in the morning and start my day with crying for 10 minutes….last night I have some misunderstanding with someone and the argument continued until morning…I don’t have mood to go to work and just thinking to resign after everything happened….I feel that I can’t focus on my work and thousands things really affected my brain and soul…

One of my friend commenting that my blog was full of my saddest thing that I’ve experience and feel in my life…I just want to clarify that through this blog and stated clearly that this is my personal blogs and its up to me to write anything that I want.. I can release some of my stress and forgot some of my problem by writing anything…all of you don’t understand my situation and I really having a bad day every day since I came back from Malaysia…

There were 2 things that really bothering my brain at the moment until an extend that I want to killed myself for it…I know that was not worth it but for the time being, I was stuck in the middle of my feelings…I just wish that I was a robot that don’t have the feeling towards anything…but god just didn’t give what did I ask for….may be he just want to torturing me more…

I appreciate all the advised that everybody gave to me…to be true..it’s easy for you to say and It’s very hard for me to do any movement or to make any decision…I was passing through my hard time at the moment and people that I really need just ignored me and left me in full of pain…sometimes I just feeling like driving my car and speeding until I hit one of the bridge structure and crash, I just to end up my life and free my soul..

I’m really could not stand this pain anymore…..my brain was blank and I’m walking like a deadly soul who didn’t find its way to heaven or hell…

Berteman Sepi: Erra Fazira

Pena ku menari mencoretkan,
sebuah puisi kelukaan,
gurindam jiwa cinta dan airmata,
di kamar hati ini,
masih ada sembunyi,
kenangan yang x mampu ku lemparkan jauh…

Pena ku menari melakarkan,
gambar kesayuan masa silam,
tinta bersulam diruangan kerinduan,
berkaca jernih ingatan ku,
biarpun dikau telah jauh dari pandangan ku

Manisnya pertemuan,
pahitnya perpisahan,
segala kini tidak dapat untuk ku bahasakan,
semua kini kaku, tiada lagi madu,
setiap madah baris kata bukannya lagi buatmu

Kini berteman sepi
Kini aku sendiri
suka dan duka dalam meniti
gelombang kembara panjang

Jauh melangkah pergi,
Tidak menoleh lagi,
Kenangan silam ku
tinggal tertulis kini
dalam sebuah puisi

Pena ku menari membariskan,
puisi sebuah pengalaman,
gurindam jiwa cinta dan airmata,
di kamar sepi ini,
titisan membasahi,
dan aku tidak tahu pada siapakah
untuk ku luah rasa…

Until I find my cure…


Kakak Tiri said...

Heyyy. Kenapa ni?

Mie, biar lah orang nak kata apa. As long as you know who you are and what you do... sudah.

I know it's never easy. People can always tell you to do this and that. It's a lot easy to say. Trust me, I know.

One thing for sho, it's not worth to kill yourself.
Been there, done that.


Kakak Tiri said...

It's your daily journal... it's your blog. Dia tak suka, tak payah baca. Good riddance!

That's easy to say for me to say... and I'm sure it's not difficult for him to do.

Sukanya said...


Cheer up! I like your blog, whatever you write. Thank you for let me read it. I understand your feeling. It's life. Please let me know if i can do anything for you.
Now may i give you some words, dont know that it will help you get relieve or not. but i try to help you. Please try to find some good things in your life and you may get better for a while. at least there are many persons that waiting to read you blog and like your blog very much.

Please take good care.


ct_as said...

hai Fahimi..
still remember me? mungkin dah ingat2 lupa. Dah almost sebulan sy follow you blog..senyap2 je..hehe.. Sebelum tu takziah dr saya & happy belated birthday.

Saya ada terbaca dlm majalah, artikel berkenaan sabar…’Allah yang Maha Penyayang tidak pernah meminta kita mencapai apa yang diluar kemampuan makhluk, jika Dia menghendaki, maka Dia akan beri kita kekuatan. Kunci utama adalah hubungan dengan Dia yang Maha Menguasai fikiran dan emosi kita.’